Things I will never understand...

So this week I had a huge disappointment. A friend I trusted, stabbed me right in the back. Actually she was practically hugging me while twisting the knife in my side. I will never understand why people do this. What was the point??
Now she is texting and calling like nothing happened...and it occurred to me, maybe she doesn't know. Perhaps she has no idea I know what happened, or and this is worse, doesn't think she did anything wrong.
No. I know she thinks it was wrong.

Okay - here's what happened, vaguely...A friend called to tell me some news, a dumb rumor really, and promised not to say anything. She said it wasn't her place. She said she didn't want to hurt me. She said she just thought I should know. I didn't ask her not to say anything, it wasn't true anyway, but still she insisted. My skin started to crawl. For the first time with this friend, my warning bells went off. I knew she was embellishing the story, I knew she had called not to protect me as she said, but to see if she could get any more dirt. She wanted gossip and she wanted drama. I had none to give.
Mere moments after she swore up and down she wasn't going to spread the rumor or tell anyone or get in the middle, I happen to be in the right place at the right time (or perhaps ignorance is bliss and it was the wrong place and time) to hear her tell all of it to the exact person she had mentioned by name that she wasn't going to say a word to.
What is wrong with people??? Why would you do that to a friend??? I have been there for her and she for me. I trusted her and of course, I have to wonder, was she like that all along, or is it the place her life is in that has brought about change? If she was like that all along... should I have ever trusted her?
I feel like a chump if these were her true colors all the time. If it's a new thing, I feel sad. But mostly, I feel hurt all over. It really sucks losing a friend, someone you hold dear. Friends are tough to come by. The ones you have you want and need to hold on to.
So disappointing. On so many levels.
In closing, let me say, I have not always done the right thing in friendships, I have hurt people, I have been dumb, but I have never intentionally hurt someone like that. I see no point. I like happy, I like positive, I like my friends to shine. When I'm sad I seek to be lifted, and when they are the ones who are sad I seek to lift. I do not destroy just because I am in the dark. I do not hurt or tear down just to try and build myself up.
If you dig up other's dirt to build your throne...a small shower will wash it away. They will be clean and you will be in the mud.

Insights welcome! So I have purged and now I will move on with my amazing group of family and friends that I can trust. It's moments like this I love you all even more. Peace!

Listen to "Dog Days Are Over" - Florence and the Machine...(or the Glee version!) It'll knock your socks off!